Are You A Human?

If you are reading this, you are probably a human. Congratulations! If you would like to check that you are human, here are a couple of generic statements that are true for most humans. If more than 50% of these apply to you, you are definetely a human. If not, I suggest going to see your nearest doctor for a check-up (You might want to hide your tail on the way, most humans will freak!)

  • You eat food.
  • You are bent on world domination (and/or pollution and/or voted for George Bush. All the same really.)
  • You have at least an eye. If you dont, you may be wondering how you can read this.
  • You prefer Italians over the French
  • You watch the Superbowl with either popcorn or nachos.
  • You consider yourself smarter than animals.
  • You are fascinated by flashing lights
  • You get bored reading the same thing over and over
  • You change words on the page to “blah blah blah blah AM I HUMAN OR NOT!”
  • You cannot wait for this test to end
  • You would RIGHT NOW like an ice cream (Or sorbet)
  • You were happy to find that this was the last one!

 

Are you a human? Well, with some of the humans I’ve met, I definitely wouldn’t want to be!

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Chainsaws

Chainsaws are commonly used for chopping down native and endangered trees (With beavers and birds in them), making you look threatening (Or maybe just more attractive) and judging from all the zombie movies and games, they are very useful for killing zombies, and producing more blood than could ever fit into a human body. Which is weird. You would think they wouldnt have much blood in a zombie. Because they’re…dead.

Instructions for Chainsaws

1: Pull the stringie thingie to start it

2: Hopefully you werent holding onto the spiky end when pulling the stringie thingy. Thats a big No-No when handling a chainsaw.

3: Stick it into whatever you want to destroy (The spiky end again)

You can now use a chainsaw!

(This is not just a toy. It can seriously hurt people. So its a SUPER COOL TOY!)

Thanks for reading. We are now at a total of 8 pages! Still a new Record! (We cant really go down anyway!)

Google: Dickipedia Style

Man, google is awesome. We dont really need to search anything, because google does it for us! (I secretly thing we are actually emailing a monkey whos been fast forwarded 1000x looking through a library and sending an answer back)

But what does google mean anyway? if you search it on google, you find a link to…google. (The monkey is a bit biased with the whole choosing thing) I think it means, we couldnt be bothered typing up ‘The Search Engine Which Searches Stuff For You And Is Really Useful’, and the monkey fell asleep on the keyboard with his head landing on the G, o, and l keys. (And shift). Dont tell me its physically impossible, its a monkey going at 1000x speed. Anything is possible!

Thanks for reading our amazing article on google. This is now a page on Dickipedia, we now have a total of 4 Pages!       A New Record!