Zombies are undead humans. They have a very limited vocabulary, consisting of “uuuurrnggggh” and “Braaaaains….”. Attempts to teach them english has resulted in the teacher learning their language, by turning into a zombie. They often have the sort of expression on their face that reminds you of the guy who doesnt get the joke no matter how much you explain it. They are not very emotional, but are known to be afraid of chainsaws and lawnmowers. They do not seem to be good at sports, even the most intelligent zombies do not understand the basic concepts of holding a bowling ball without trying to eat it. They also have not been very sucsessful at volleyball. They stare at the ball, wondering why it gets bigger, until it hits them in the face.

This research was conducted by me, and in fact I’ve got one in the lab with me right now. Oh, he’s coming closer. Maybe he wants to write something. Wait, why is his mouth open? Oh crap hes going to….!



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